Dear Fear,
I have some things to say to you, but first I want to thank you.
It is partly because of you that I am who I am today. I am an introvert at heart and I do not like conflict of any kind. There have been many instances in my life where I was too afraid to confront someone or something directly. Instead of facing them, I would walk away to find another way to release my emotions.
I think I discovered this outlet when I was just eight or nine years old. I picked up a pen and one of those little reporter style notebooks, and just began to write. In the face of a tragedy, I didn’t know who to turn to, so I let my emotions spill onto the page. I was angry, hurt, confused, and so many other feelings I didn’t know the name of. The ink of my pen mixed with my tears on the crumpled pages.
I kept those pages for years and years, and every time I looked at them, I would be reminded of this wonderful emotional outlet I had found because I was too afraid to talk to somebody.
Now, years later, I have moved on to hundreds of other notebooks, but I have yet to put down my pen. It has become a part of me, and I have to attribute at least some of that to you.
But no more.
While yes, you were the one who got me started writing, I am afraid that you are now holding me back. At first I was just writing to write as an outlet for my emotions, but now I have bigger ambitions. I still love to write for those same reasons, but now I want to get published and make writing my career.
But I am afraid.
What if I’m really not that good at all?
What if people don’t like what I write?
What if I don’t actually know what I’m talking about and people think I’m stupid?
Who do I think I am that I can be successful at this?
Why should I be able to do something I love as a career when everyone else seems to work with their nose to the grindstone in a job they hate?
No- I have to stop there.
Fear, do you see what I mean?
I have all of these goals and ambitions for myself, but if I listen to you, I am going to talk myself right out of going after them. So, you and I? We have to be done. I can’t be afraid anymore. I CAN do this!
I have been writing for almost 20 years at this point. While there is certainly always room to continue to improve, something inside me HAS to write, and I will continue to hone my craft.
If people don’t like what I write, then oh well. Everybody has different tastes, but somebody out there needs my book. If a hundred people read it and hate it, but it speaks to and helps one person, then I consider that a success.
Again, I have been writing for a long time and I do my research. I am not going to publish something that I put half an effort into.
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I am aware of the challenges in this industry and I don’t expect to get rich quick. I know that it will take a lot of hard work and dedication, but I love to write and I will be successful.
So many people in my life dread going to work on Monday morning to a job they hate. That will not be me, I am promising myself that now. I am not afraid of hard work, in fact I look forward to it. I like to be challenged, and I have been given the opportunity to chase my dreams, so that is where you will find me.
I am sorry Fear, but you and I are over. Thank you for getting me started on this road, but you will no longer stand in my way. I am a writer, I am already successful, and I will continue to do both as long as I want. You cannot and will not stop me.
I will continue to write!
Over To You
Hopefully, you found this helpful.
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