I have had several conversations lately about what I do for a living, and let me tell you, some of the responses are just full on rant-worthy (warning: this post is just a tad bitter, but I think most of us can relate). Conversations about what we do for a living are bound to come up from time to time among friends and new acquaintances. Most people usually get mild interested reactions and then the conversation moves on, but we are met with strange looks when we tell them that we write for a living. The strange looks then, usually, turn into obnoxious and slightly insulting questions. If you don’t want to be slapped in the face with a sarcastic response, here are 11 things you should never say to a writer.
“Oh, you’re one of those people…”
What your reaction should be: “One of what people? The kind of person who makes an honest living doing something they are good at? Hate to break it to you, but we are not all just pretentious snobs who don’t do anything all day. We work hard at what we do.”
“Have you published a book yet?”
What your reaction should be: “Have you? Regardless of whether I have or not, I am not going to be judged on if my book has been published. There are other ways to have a career as a writer, and most of us aren’t able to rely solely on revenue from a published book to pay the bills. Now, I realize that this question may sometimes be asked with genuine interest, and in that case, I may be obliged to tell you yes or no.”
“Writing isn’t that hard.”
What your reaction should be: “I want to see you do it then. Not to mention sitting in front of a blank screen trying to get past the monster Writer’s Block, but you try making the words flow in a way that is easy to read and keeps the reader’s attention. On top of that, try writing on a deadline, with strict guidelines, and a word count. Let’s see how well you manage it and still have time for your other responsibilities and function like a normal human being.”
“So, I have this great idea you should use in your book…”
What your reaction should be: “Okay, let me get right on that! I don’t have any ideas of my own, so I’ll just write whatever you come up with. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll write it for you if you pay me as the valued professional I work so hard to portray myself. Even then, it’s still a big maybe. I have a better idea, why don’t you write it, and see for yourself how much work goes into writing a book.”
“You’re writing a book? What’s it about?”
What your reaction should be: “I don’t know yet.” (Then they will get this really confused look on their face, “What do you mean you don’t know?”) “Well don’t know, I’m not finished writing it. Even then, it may be about one thing to me, but another to you, so I don’t know. Please don’t ask me anymore, you can read it later.”
“But what do you do for a living?”
What your reaction should be: Oh, I love this one. “Like I just told you, I write. I work all day, just like you, to pay my bills and live my life.”
“I wish I had a job where I could just stay at home all day and do nothing.”
What your reaction should be: “Yeah, me too. I get up in the morning and I write, I might pause for lunch or to drop the kids off at school, but then I go back to writing. What I don’t do is sit on the couch all day, watching Netflix, and eating chocolate.”
“Is that really what you’ve always wanted to do?”
What your reaction should be: “Are you doing what you’ve always wanted to do? Regardless if this was always the career I had planned or not, I’ve always enjoyed writing, and I’m very lucky to be able to do something that I truly enjoy.”
“Can I read it?”
What your reaction should be: “Later! I haven’t rewritten it sixteen times yet. You may find a typo, and that would just be too embarrassing. Maybe after the fifth draft I’ll let you read it…maybe.”
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“I don’t like to read.”
What your reaction should be: “Well…I…you… Nevermind, I have nothing to say to you and you have no idea what you’re missing. Poor thing.”
“Can you write/edit this for me for free or exposure?”
What your reaction should be: “No, no, and um, no. Will you fix my car for free? How about, you’re a dentist, will you clean my teeth for free? I will tell everyone you did it, so you can get some exposure. No, I will not write or edit that for you for free, but if you want to pay my normal rate, then we can talk. I have bills to pay too, and my time is just as valuable as yours.”
Over To You
Hopefully, you found this helpful. I do realize that sometimes people will say these things with genuine interest, and in those cases, most writers would be happy to give you legitimate answers instead of meeting you head on with sarcasm. Writers deserve the same respect as mechanics, cosmetologists, and electricians since they all require a specific skill set for their craft, and not everyone has the ability to do them well.
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